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URGENT H1N1 EMERGENCY ALERT!!

New studies have shown the "H1N1 Colon Cleanse" to be harmful to newborns.

Many mothers are outraged after buying into the fad of the new diet plan “H1N1 Colon Cleanse” which promises customers not only a colon cleanse but a means of losing weight.Many case studies, however, have shown this new …fad to be affecting newborn babies whose mother was on the diet plan. Babies have been reported to suffer from bulimia. After being breast-fed all babies affected, immediately “spit-up”.

“This is horrendous!” claims Gladys Barrington of New Cityville, “our war on eating disorders is hard enough with the media. Now it’s reaching our children at a younger age? It’s an outrage.”

The company by law now has to warn mothers and pregnant women of the possible side affects that can be passed on and complications that could arise through diet plans used during pregnancy.

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5 comments

  1. I am a current user of the H1N1 Colon Cleanse and have had nothing but positive results. Now that pregnant and nursing women are affected by this product, is there any chance I will be too?

  2. Jonathan, I understand that you may be concerned about this possible setback to your successful H1N1 colon cleanse program. “Statistical studies”, “facts”, “news reports”, and “numerous detailed customer complaints” should be taken with a grain of salt. As with any other weight loss program, there are always the nay-sayers who “claim” that it’s bad for you and “will rot your entire body”…the choice is up to you though.

    By the way, have you seen the new coupon for .078% off the next purchase of the amazing H1N1 colon cleanse feel good feel fresh feel free weight loss diet??

  3. That’s quite an amazing deal! But wait…I just bought a two-month supply. If I buy more before the sale ends is there a chance my product will go bad or lose any effectiveness by the time I use it all? Thanks again for making such a great and easy-to-use product!

  4. well jonathan, i can’t speak for the fine people over at the h1n1 colon cleanse headquarters, but i’d be willing to bet there is a 100% guarantee for your product. In fact, they’d probably even send you a freshly infected pig and bird (and miscellaneous…) in the mail if it looses any effectiveness, for your troubles!

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