Is LOL just a meaningless gesture, or fraud on a massive scale? According to some astute internet users, the answer may shock you.
The issue of “LOL Abuse” has recently come to the attention of TSINB as a potential societal breakdown, and and issue that should be on your minds the next time you are encountered with this double-sided acronym. The issue at hand being the integrity of whether or not the use of the expression “LOL”, a commonly used acronym for the phrase “Laugh Out Loud”, has been regularly taken advantage of and used in inappropriate situations; situations in which internet predators take advantage of unsuspecting victims by offering the gesture of typing ‘LOL’ as a way of making it seem like they are actually “laughing out loud”. This is where the scandal begins.Over the past few years it has become very obvious that more and more web users are misrepresenting themselves by typing LOL (or “lolling” as it has come to be called) when they are NOT actually laughing out loud.
The extent of this lie can be summed up by the below graph, which employs the latest in TSINB statistical technology, which proudly proclaims a very low 50% margin of error.
Sadly, a very large percentage of LOL predators do not even have the slightest inclination to laugh out loud at the time of the supposed proclamation of laughing out loud. Nevermind the “out loud” portion, sometimes not even the slightest raising of the corners of their mouths seem to imitate any sort of traditional smiling facial movement (according to the latest top of the line TSINB facial recognition technology).
Upon further, deeper, more thorough analysis of the situation, I have come to the conclusion that the matter of whether the matter warrants further investigation or not, and for that matter, if the matter warrants the attention of every single patriotic American citizen to consider this matter, is of considerable matter.
Jon Newcomb, a veteran protester of the unwarranted and illegitimate use of LOL, had this to say about the situation: “LOL’s time has come and gone. Groovy came and went. Yeah, that’s the ticket came and went. Dyn-o-mite came and went. I’m not a crook came and went. Where’s the beef? came and went. why can’t LOL leave? it’s been more than a decade. People type the phrase without actually laughing out loud. It’s a big hoax and nobody cares.”
Another protester, Jacqueline Hershman, had this to say about LOL: “I never use that “phrase” cause I think it’s so annoying. It’s a placeholder! Just like how “ummm, “ahhh….” and “like” are in speeches!” “…most of the time people type “LOL” it was for nothing that was actually funny.”
This caught my attention at once. Personally, I am an avid internet user and usually enjoy ‘chatting it up’ with friends on myface and spacebook, and obviously the occasional ‘LOL’ would pop up here and there.
Usually when I see people type ‘LOL’ after reading one of my brilliant one liners, I would have previously had a vivid image of the other person literally “laughing out loud”, falling out of their seat, holding their sides, loosing their breath, and chuckling with no restraint and with reckless abandon, with cheers and chuckles abroad! Never in my wildest nightmares could I have ever have anticipated that people weren’t truly “laughing out loud” when they cast out the phrase ‘LOL’. Upon further investigation, unfortunately, I have discovered the true depth and darkness of this world wide web conspiracy is much bigger than I could have ever imagined. By the time I realized the true nature of the beast, the LOL was on me…
NOW, the conspiracy brews even darker when it gets even deeper into the heart of this issue. While I have indeed come to the conclusion that the ‘LOL’ issue has gotten way out of control, and is indeed a major threat to our society’s integral stability (and hope of a better tomorrow), I think there is a much bigger threat arising that has seemingly slipped right under our noses…
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Do NOT underestimate this seemingly harmless expression. The problem with this is that sometimes the colon followed by a closing parenthesis will be automatically formatted to a pretty picture of a happy smiling face. If only people were able to see beneath the surface of this evil masquerade.
There is reportedly a major underground uprising that has been simmering quietly for the past few years and has been just waiting for it’s chance to boil over the top, until BOOOOM :) :) :) :) :) all over everybody’s faces!!
It is bound to take precedence over not only the LOL conspiracy, but our very own lives – and our children’s lives…and our children’s children’s lives!
Can you imagine the amount of people that are implementing the :) expression and are secretly not even showing the slightest hint of any facial gesture remotely similar to that expression? Have you ever even looked into a mirror and tried to duplicate a colon & closing parenthesis with your face? It’s physically impossible to replicate, yet it seems to be one of the most prevalent emotional expressions used on myface and spacebook and other popular social pass-times such as smaller social networking sites like facebook and myspace.
According to my research, there is a very high percentage of :) users that recklessly use the smiley face expression, with not even the slightest bit of concern for our future or about whether or not such an expression warrants the emotional response that is given at the time of use.
To be perfectly honest, it just gives me the chills…some day people will have to take a stance on this issue. It may even delevop into a sort of “montague vs capulets” scenario. Swords will be drawn, blood will be spilled, and worst of all…meaningless internet expressions of all kinds will rise up to join battle and clash to the death in one of man-kinds most tragic wars yet.
It may very well become known to our future generations as WWWW1…World Wide Web War 1!!