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Little Jonny Fails To Think Of At Least 3 Things to be Thankful For

confused boy

Jonny Stevenson was reportedly unable to find at least 3 things to be thankful for on thanksgiving.

All eyes seem to be on 8 year old Jonny Stevenson this thanksgiving day, as he is unable to come up with at least three things to be thankful for.

Johnny was having a lovely thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother’s house, and all things were going wonderfully during the meal itself. It wasn’t until after the meal that things started to go awry.

The traditional after-mealtime thankfulness circle commenced, where it is customary to take a few minutes to write down on a piece of paper what one is thankful for, in the spirit of thanksgiving. Everything was going according to plan, and many agreeable speeches were given upon the virtues of thankfulness, until it came to Jonny, who just had a very disappointing list to say the least; the first being transformers action figures and the second being turtles.

We caught up with Jonny’s older brother Marvin, who said “It’s not just that his list of thankfulness is lame and has no poetic virtue, it’s the fact that he only wrote down two things, instead of the required three…”

Jonny’s grandmother, Gladys Stevenson, 73, says “Well, it just goes to show that kids nowadays don’t appreciate anything anymore! The only thing they pay any attention to is MTZ AM radio, and devil worshiping music like Dan Fogelberg and MC Hammer. Goodness gracious, it’s just a shame..”

Most of us have likely been in the situation of having to go across the table, and saying what we’re thankful for, but most are able to think of at least three things to be thankful for. This year unfortunately seems to be very tough for Jonny. According to eyewitness accounts, and also our TSINB eyewitness chopper 5 reporting live outside the dinner-table window, Jonny has still only come up with an very ungrateful count of only two things to be thankful for, even after hours of deliberation. Jonny has basically just casually shrugged his shoulders and decided to “go play with his transformers” rather than reflecting upon his remaining thankfulness requirement. This has seemingly put an unprecedented halt to the thanksgiving celebration of the Stevenson family.

More to come, with live updates as they occur…

About Paul

Hi, my name is Paul, and I work in a button factory. I've got a wife and two kids. Then one day my boss came to me and said "Are you busy Paul??" I said "NO." "So push this button with your left hand." So I did. And the process repeated itself over and over until all my body parts were pushing buttons. It was completely ridiculous...so I quit!


  1. I think something bigger is happening here. Let’s pan away from the unacceptable list he wrote and focus on WHY the list was lacking. Depression. Maybe he’s suicidal? He’s losing all hope in life!! Get that kid some pills! I hear there’s a new prescription medication that can fix this little boy’s depression. Little Black Betty’s! They now come in needle form :-)

  2. It was a very disappointing list…I still need time to process that fact. What a little brat…

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